IQ, Ego Management

For IQ, Ego management and anger management

Life has its ups and downs, even during a single day our emotions can seem like they are riding on a veritable roller coaster In the yoga sutras Patanjali says “Pain and suffering that has not yet manifested can and is to be avoided” Anger can be the result of hurt pride, of unreasonable expectations, or of repeated hostile fantasies. Besides getting our way, we may unconsciously use anger to blame others for our own shortcomings, to justify oppressing others, to boost our own sagging egos, to conceal other feelings, and to handle other emotions (as when we become aggressive when we are afraid). Anger is feeling mad in response to frustration or injury. You don’t like what has happened and usually you’d like to get revenge. Anger is an emotional-physiological-cognitive internal state; it is separate from the behavior it might prompt.

Direct behavioral signs

  1. Assaultive: physical and verbal cruelty, rage, slapping, shoving, kicking, hitting, threaten with a knife or gun, etc.

  2. Aggression: overly critical, fault finding, name-calling, accusing someone of having immoral or despicable traits or motives, nagging, whining, sarcasm, prejudice, flashes of temper.

  3. Hurtful: malicious gossip, stealing, trouble-making.

  4. Rebellious: anti-social behavior, open defiance, refusal to talk.

Direct verbal or cognitive signs
  1. Open hatred and insults: “I hate your guts;” “I’m really mad;” “You’re so damn stupid.”

  2. Contempt and disgust: “You’re a selfish SOB;” “You are a spineless wimp, you’ll never amount to anything.”

  3. Suspicious: “You haven’t been fair;” “You cheated!”

  4. Blaming: “They have been trying to cause me trouble.”

  5. I don’t get the respect I deserve: “They just don’t respect the owner (or boss or teacher or doctor) any more.”

  6. Revengeful: “I wish I could really hurt him.”

Thinly veiled behavioral signs
  1. Distrustful, skeptical.

  2. Argumentative, irritable, indirectly challenging.

  3. Resentful, jealous, envious.

  4. Disruptive, uncooperative, or distracting actions.

  5. Unforgiving or unsympathetic attitude.

  6. Sulky, sullen, pouting.

  7. Passively resistant, interferes with progress.

  8. Given to sarcasm, cynical humor, and teasing.

  9. Judgmental, has a superior or holier-than-thou attitude.

Indirect behavioral signs
  1. Withdrawal: quiet remoteness, silence, little communication especially about feelings.

  2. Psychosomatic disorders: tiredness, anxiety, high blood pressure, heart disease. Actually, college students with high Hostility scores had, 20 years later, become more overweight with higher cholesterol and hypertension had drunk more coffee and alcohol, had smoked more cigarettes, and generally had poorer health (Friedman, 1991). See chapter 5 for a discussion of psychogenic disorders.

  3. Depression and guilt.

  4. Serious mental illness: paranoid schizophrenia.

  5. Accident-proneness and self-defeating or addictive behavior, such as drinking, over-eating, or drugs.

  6. Vigorous, distracting activity (exercising or cleaning).

  7. Excessively submissive, deferring behavior.

  8. Crying.

Indirect verbal signs
  1. “I just don’t want to talk.”

  2. “I’m disappointed in our relationship.”

  3. “I feel bad all the time.”

  4. “If you had just lost some weight.”

  5. “I’m really swamped with work, can’t we do something about it?” Yoga teaches us that any experience can point us to the Self. Instead of a prisoner of anger, one can become its student. And our daily life provides us with ample “opportunities” to breathe in our upset and awaken our heart.

Urdhva Padmasana in Sirsasana : Urdhva means above or high. Padmasana is the lotus pose described earlier. In this variation, Padmasana is done in the head stand.

Technique
  1. . This pose is to be done after the Eka Pada and Parsvaika Pada Sirsasanas. After completing these two positions cross the legs as in Padmasana. First place the right foot over the left thigh.

  2. Press the knees closer to each other and stretch the thighs up vertically.

  3. Hold this position for half a minute with deep and even breaths. Then, exhale and extend the thigh as far back as possible.

  4. uncross the legs and return to Sirsasana. Now cross the legs the other way, first placing the left foot over the right thigh and then the right foot over the left thigh. Stay like this also for half a minute and then extend the thighs back.

  5. while stretching the thighs up do not change the position of the head or the neck.

Effects : This posture gives an extra pull to the dorsal region, the ribs and the pelvic region. Consequently, the chest is fully expanded and blood circulates properly in the pelvic region. To give an added stretch, one can perform the pose by giving the trunk a lateral twist while doing the head stand.

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